Somewhere Far
by TheCandyTerror
Summary: Armada JetfireStarscream SLASH: I’m nothing more then his little pet when he’s near and I’ll lovingly grovel and whimper at his feet like some cowardly and submissive beast if it meant I never had to share him.


Warning: Transformers Slash, Jetfire/Starscream

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own Transformers, Hasbororororo does...dammit. Nor do I own the song/lyrics/music/etc. All that's mine is this fic and my Starscream hoodie that will soon have a Jetfire counterpart to match! (insert evil laughter here)

Jack: Fic inspired by a song called "Show me" by Social Syn, a band I found on MySpace which I find, simply: Amazing. There are no lyrics available on their page so I just wrote them down as I was writing this so I'm not positive if they're 100 percent correct. If not then...shite.

* * *

Somewhere Far

_I miss you_

_I need you_

_Where could you be you're so far_

He's killing me and he knows it, I'm sure that's the truth behind that spark-shredding grin of his. He's some sort of space demon that dwells in sleek bodies with a sharp tongues preying on innocent mechs like me. Being around him I feel weak and worthless unless those fiery eyes are focused only on me; I'm nothing more then his little pet when he's near and I'll lovingly grovel and whimper at his feet like some cowardly and submissive beast if it meant I never had to share him.

His voice IS a weapon and with each word he speaks I feel the blade of some unseen weapon rip through the layers of my armor like air and bury itself into my spark. My spark, my poor abused spark is where I keep him and all the smirks and almost smiles he grants to me. His eyes are not as so much eyes as they are pure flames waiting to burst from his tangible form and swallow me whole. I don't know or understand where this craving/addiction grew from, yet I want nothing more then to let it take over me like the earth vines and thorns that choke the life out of the rest of the garden.

Primus I'm weak. As a sparkling it was obvious that I'd chase after any cute bot that looked my way but he's different then those little flings and such I had on Cybertron. He owns me through and through and I've never had to chase after him: he always comes to ME willingly. I'm not sure why that's relevant, maybe I can use it to justify why I feel no guilt or shame sneaking away from the base to go and find him.

He's always there, always waiting there at the edge of the gorge where we first met and the forest where we first began this deranged tryst of ours.

_Away from_

_Where I am_

_I cannot stop what's in me_

_Come back now_

_When will you be right by my side?_

But it feels so right that I refuse to deny myself this one pleasure, one spark of life in an otherwise lifeless existence. That's what he is, the only excitement in so many years of war, chaos, and death. He's like a furiously burning star that bleeds life into my craving circuits and I know that no others could possibly understand how it feels to hold a massive star in your arms and rejoice in the scorch marks that only you can see when you're apart.

He's my other half and I want to keep him.

"_Jetfire, take care of Starscream."_

I want to throw down my rank and vows to my faction each time I'm forced into battle against him.

I hear my leader, my brave and loving friend, ordering me to willingly harm this perfect being of pure fire and life and I want to quit everything I've ever worked for, grab him by the throat and fly away with him eager or not.

_Show me a place we can go_

_Somewhere far but close to home_

_Turn out the lights and we'll get close_

_Tonight's the night we'll be alone..._

Insanity teases the edges of my motherboard and during stasis all I see is him and I wake painfully to a reality where he's not beside me. He's my greatest mistake and I love it, love him. I bathe in pride knowing that all the good I've ever done or ever could do is slowly burned away each time I reach for him in the night and every time I fall to my knees because of his almost smile.

I can't take much more of this: I'm at a breaking point and everyone knows it. Though why, thankfully I believe only a few truly understand.

My Leader, my King, my friend can't help me though he's tried. I can almost taste the fright he feels for me, afraid that I've fallen into some trap or under the spell of an enemy. He doesn't understand that I didn't fall: I leapt helm first into the swirling madness of stars and screaming that now is welded into my very core.

He's mine

He was meant to be mine and I have only fate and myself to curse and blame that I had not found him until now. There's no reason for him to remain with Decepticons, he's not one of them. He appears before me night after night with dents and breaks, ragged alloy and torn wings all because he is smarter then that _thing _he calls: Master. That conceited and obdurate, violent and unworthy megalomaniac: who owns my lover like some little toy and uses him as such when he's not sneaking around in the shadows with me.

Oh yes, I've done it; I've committed the greatest taboo this war could ever bear:

I'm screwing the Universal Harbinger of Death's bond mate...

The best part is that I knew all along and I don't care.

He didn't need to tell me, it's obvious in the way the two fight, in the way his "Master"' will hiss and roar at him, berate him on the battlefield and abuse him before his enemies' eyes: and yet my Screamer is always there to fight again.

You never kill your bond mate; and the one that belongs with me is safe for now because of that understanding.

It's perhaps the only sickening thing about what we are, what we have...I look at him and Megatron knows. I hold him and touch him, pin him down and take him: and Megatron is probably sitting on his throne, metal skin breaking as he clenches his fists and he knows his bond mate is writhing beneath another mech-and far happier then when he's with him.

"_He shouldn't expect me not to act in the same manner as himself-there's no equity in blaming me for what he does so frequently."_ Starscream's voice was sad that time, infuriatingly so as though the truth of his bond mate's infidelity was something he grieved. I refuse to believe there is anything like love between them. He was, is young, lost, he needed someone to be there for him and that tyrant took advantage of someone so beautiful and strong. For him to hold claim over Starscream would be like these mortals trying to keep a star in their hands.

He'll burn.

In battle the tyrant aims for me, perhaps the only sign besides the many scars appearing on my Screamer's body that proves he knows. The less informed members of my faction always find this odd, wondering what I did to Megatron, and why does he hate me almost as much as Prime?

Why is Megatron trying to destroy me?

"_It's probably because he's jealous that I'm far cooler then he is!"_

I'll joke, and tease about it and then later grab my seeker's arms and press him against any surface so that when we meet he can't escape and I can, for a moment, live in the fantasy that we belong to one another.

_Certain_

_I want the feel_

_I like this_

_When you're around_

_What is it that you do?_

"_You're so reckless in battle, just stay home and watch the fleshies with Red Alert: you're too weak for battle."_ He insults me, calls me pathetic and worthless, and tells me how feeble and frail I am. He tries to trick me into staying away from his mate's aim and wrath but I'd rather be no other place then staring down that maniac with a weapon and nothing but hatred between us.

I'll destroy him one day, rip his crown from his helm and give his scrap metal away to use in rebuilding Cybertron. Then my seeker and I will walk freely in the open, each step hopefully crushing down on what was once a fool that thought he could suppress a star.

_I feel so right, I'm needed now_

_So I can make you mine_

_You're always on my mind_

Oh, but he tries to damage my Star and Optimus knows when he tries harder because my friend's kind optics are always focused on me with worry and concern.

"_Soon,"_ I always tell him once the rest of the base is gone and my truth is freely spoken. _"Soon we'll defeat that narcissist and I'll make him mine permanently."_

"_Jetfire, you can't destroy someone just because you want their bond mate. Don't you understand what's happening to you? I'm glad that you've found someone you love but-why him? How do you know that this isn't all a trick?"_

I love it when he is trapped between a friend and a leader; it reminds me that beneath whom he has to be: strong, brave, intelligent, superior-there's also the mech I knew that would fumble about when a pretty femme would get too close.

"_I want to trust him, I want to trust that he cares about you like you care about him but we have to remember who he chose to bond with. Jetfire..."_

I'll always smile, I'm never mad at him: you don't get mad at Optimus Prime. He's the ultra-father of all Transformers. To be angry with Optimus Prime was equivalent to shooting down one of these earth canines after it preformed a task for you.

"_Op, one day soon you'll see, everyone will see he wasn't meant for that life. He's amazing, he's innocent, he's: granted a little psycho and twisted but beautifully mad and perfect in the most deranged little way...I love him."_

Optimus smiles, tries to understand, wishes me luck and prays to Primus that I don't get hurt.

Optimus, I know, will be the one to seal the Autobot sigil on Starscream's wings...soon...soon...I just have to wait and be patient...soon.

_Show me a place we can go_

_Somewhere far but close to home_

_Turn out the lights and we'll get close_

_Tonight's the night we'll be alone..._

"_Why don't you join the Decepticons?"_ He teases constantly, sitting across from me, watching me without really watching me. My Screamer will never look directly at me unless he has to; he doesn't understand what its like to love someone.

I'm going to teach him.

"_Yea, I can just imagine it. We'll skip merrily hand in hand down the rotten hallways of your base and then be certain to stop by to see if Cyclonus has blown himself up yet or make sure it's ok with Megatron for permission to go into your chambers and frag the motherboards out of each other for the next few hours...wonderful..."_

Starscream almost laughs at those moments and then will usually say something about my home, my base...

"_Oh then I suppose becoming an Autobot will work out far better...I'm sure Hotshot and the others will spend plenty of time discussing with you the many different viruses Decepticon scum can give you and to be 'certain not to allow that __thing__ to fall asleep after you' because you never know."_

It won't be like that, I assure him, they'll all see that he belongs there and that he's perfect and beautiful. They'll all agree and be jealous that he belongs to me and I'll never share him.

He doesn't smile, just looks away and I lose him to thoughts as he's prone to do. Usually he rubs a new "battle" scar he's received from his mate and then later asks me why I always sound so "sure" that the two of us will ever find any sort of freedom.

"_Because we're going to either be happily bonded as Autobots or happy deserters of both factions somewhere they can't find us...there are no other options in my mind."_

The look he gives me is the closest thing to surprise I think he'll ever express. If Transformers could cry, I think fiery tears would be pouring from his orange optics.

I know that every time he flies off and returns to that monster in the stars I wish I could weep.

He's my other half, my intended bond mate. Megatron shouldn't have him: doesn't deserve to keep Starscream locked in a cage like he does.

I can't take much more of this...

"_When will you be back?"_

"_I'm not sure, but I have to go."_

"_Don't, just don't go. You can stay here, Optimus will be glad: relieved if I brought you back now!"_

"_I can't do that."_

"_Yes! Yes you can! Starscream you don't have to go back to him, you love me not him..."_

There is no love between them. I don't care that Megatron refuses to truly harm my Screamer, or that Starscream always runs back to him: it only means he's blinded by his tormenter's madness. Megatron cannot feel love for any other being then himself and Starscream only loves me, I know it.

But he _always_ goes back.

I can't take it much more. I want to grab him in battle and refuse to let him go until either we're ripped apart or ripped in half. I smile and grin for my comrades, pretend everything is fine, and then blast the living pit out of holograms and targets that wear the Decepticon's haughty smile. There has to be a medium, a place that the two of us can run and exist in peace without the war, duties, or tyrannical beings lurking over our shoulders.

_I feel the need_

_And the desire_

_I feel complete when it's you and me_

He's not here at my side and this drives me on the verge of hysterics. It's taking too long for him to join us, to join me. He has all the reasons to leave-has all the rights and justification but he won't. He's scared, afraid that Megatron will drag him back or that I'll leave him. He doesn't say this but I can tell, I'm good with reading mechs; he's scared out of his mind. I hold him close, tell him I'll always love him, that no matter what I'd rather die then see that monster hurt him any longer. I tell him that if we can't find peace on either side then we'll just go find our own world where they'll never find us.

_Show me a place we can go_

And then he flies off to return to his master...his bond mate.

_Show me a place they won't follow_

Optimus tries to explain that even if Starscream loves me it's perhaps the most painful thing to try and escape a bond. That Megatron is strong and Starscream is loyal...There's probably a small chance that he'll ever leave on his own free will.

I tell him that if I see Starscream again: I'm snatching him and not coming back.

_Show me a place that we both know_

The next few battles Optimus forces me into a power link that I can't escape.

_We both know_

Starscream is abandoned in battle. Optimus won't release our link...I can't get to him.

He's screaming...He's in pain...He needs me...and all I can do is watch.

_We both know_

Tidal wave's lasers did heavy damage on his wings, but overall he's fine. He's here with me after all this time; he's finally where he belongs.

Megatron forsook him and now it can be like we wanted.

He hasn't acknowledged this wonderful reality yet.

At night, I stand outside the door to his new chambers, contemplating entering to remind him that I'm here for him, that we can have what we've been dreaming of for so long.

_We both know_

His screams for Megatron stop me.

_They Won't Follow_

End.


End file.
